Thoughts on Attending Church

Today, as I write this, I am wondering whether it is necessary to put our vulnerabilities on display when we attempt to make peace with ourselves and with God. 

I think social media has led some of us to believe we have to. Granted, I have to say, it's sometimes nice, or I guess it feels inspiring, to see people post something vulnerable about themselves on social media. When we read it, we begin to feel less alone. We are all human, and many of us share similar insecurities.

But I believe that God would never require us to share our innermost, deepest thoughts with everyone for Him to love us. He would never require us to embarrass ourselves for Him to forgive us! He knows how we feel. He knows our innermost feelings even without us speaking or writing them down for all to hear or see.

I have never been to church, except for weddings and funerals. I have experienced a Catholic version of Midnight Mass once, on Christmas Eve, when I was 15 with my best friend, whom I regret to say I have lost touch with, and I miss her immensely. That was a wonderful and unforgettable night. I arrived home around 2:00 am on Christmas morning to find my dear, sweet mother baking what she called "Angel Halo Cookies," so they would be ready to deliver to my sister's house on Christmas Day. These cookies are very temperamental because they are actually kind of like mini lemon meringue pies. You can only apply the lemon filling when they are completely cooled. And you can't apply the meringue topping too early, or it will flatten and dissolve into the lemon filling. They are soooo good. I think they might be my favorites, although I haven't had the pleasure of eating them since that day. I have not attempted to make them myself. In fact, I forgot about them until I just now reflected on that moment!

But, getting back to the subject of never attending church. I sometimes wonder if I would have done anything different in my life if I had. Or would I have rebelled the same way I rebelled against a lot of things my parents told me I should do? Part of me thinks that I might have been more understanding with my parents if I had gone to church and studied God. I didn't necessarily take their advice because I didn't want someone telling me what to do. If I had gone to church, I might have learned the deeper meaning behind what exactly they were getting at. I may have learned the why behind their thoughts, but it would have been from a spiritual place, rather than them just telling me to do it their way because they said so. 

Is it okay to say I feel the need to attend church because I would like to develop true friendships with people who think beyond themselves? As an introvert, making friends has never been easy for me. I'm a quiet person with a lot going on in my mind. Due to my calm nature, I could be mistaken as snobby or selfish, but I feel that I am far from that description. As I mentioned before, I am craving true friendships, which to me are people who care for each other and reciprocate their friendship with each other. It seems I'm experiencing many one-sided relationships these days. Meaning one person reaches out more than the other.

In many cases, people mean well by saying "let's get together soon" when you encounter them, but when you text or call them, they are always too busy to text or call back - And I completely understand! Life is way too busy! I have been guilty of doing this myself! But I am recognizing that and trying to get much better at slowing down. Many of us have demanding schedules that keep us from reaching out to friends, resulting in lost friendships, which I find so sad. However, we're all still alive if we're reading this, so we can still do something about it! 

I need to take my own advice.

That's all for today.

Thank you for being here.

Please comment! I would love to hear your thoughts.